Today has been pretty uneventful. My computer decided to work, so I’ve been here for the past 3 hours surfing the interweb.
You know you have an addiction when:
1. You want a cigarette, and the urge to go outside sits in your head for a good hour before you actually move.
2. You move the heater directly in front of you so you will have unlimited warmth so you don’t need to move.
3. You’ve got about 10 tabs open, and if you close any of them without reading what lies beneath, you feel like you’ve just abandoned a piece of your soul.
4. You avoid having a shower until absolutely necessary. Then when you actually do, you end up sitting in front of the computer in a towel until you realize that your hair is dry and decide that putting some clothes before your roommates come home would be a good idea.
5. You tell yourself, just 5 more minutes, then get held up for another hour because you’ve discovered Jediism on Wikipedia.
6. When KylaBea‘s page is being attacked by Netfirms and is unavailable you need to find the closest paperbag and breathe in… and out… in… and out…
I need to call my dad tonight and ask him for some money. I officially have $115 to last me until I find a job (not including rent). Now, this isn’t too bad. But when you’ve got a $10,000 student line of credit in the back of your mind, it’s a little stressful.
I hate asking my parents when I’m out of cash. I’ve always been the type to avoid it at all costs, even if that entailed getting a 3rd job so I could afford to eat, get to work, and pay for supplies for school. When I was incredibly desparate I would call my parents and beg them for amounts as little as $100 and they would respond, ‘We’re not made of money, Awmb. The only time you call us is to get money out of us. We’re not a bank!’ After guilt-tripping the shit out of me, they would finally give me the cash I asked for, as well as a little extra. So whenever it comes time to ask them for money, I’m always wishing for the short, sweet, and guilt-free, ‘Sure! I’ll support you! You’re having a hard time! I understand that.’ But I know that it will most likely turn into the long, drawn out version as soon as I say, ‘Dad, I was wondering…’
I feel like I’ve become a bum compared to where I was a year and a half ago. I actually liked working 2 jobs and going to school. My environment was ever changing. And if I found I didn’t like where I was, I knew that I’d be at the next place a few hours down the road. Now all I do is sit on the computer keeping myself occupied, looking for jobs constantly, sleeping ridiculous amounts of time, and I’m still unemployed. It’s been exactly 3 weeks today.
Kaity is going to be coming over as soon as she buys some winter fuzziness, and we’re going to drink wine and play N64 like it’s nobody’s business.
As soon as I get my first paycheque I’m going to Value Village (aka V.V. Boutique) and looking for a cozy jacket and scarf to get me through the next 3 months of cold, damp and dreary winter in Vancouver.
I’m not as depressed as I sound in this post, I swear!