I’ve been overly emotional tonight and it’s biting at me that I don’t know the cause of it. My body feels like a foreign object lately with things being off in weird ways. Yoga is helping, but I feel like I’m spending all of my time doing yoga, and when I’m not doing it, I’m thinking about doing it. Or I’m hanging out with friends that I just finished doing yoga with. Being out every day after work is something that I really can’t handle anymore.
With fall being in the present instead of the future tense, I am getting more and more stressed about Halloween and Christmas being just around the corner. I feel that I haven’t been crafting at all, and it’s driving me a little insane. I understand that last year I had a lot more time on my hands with the whole being unemployed for 2 months… but I still feel lacking.
I also went to the dentist today. It is one of my ultimate fears of all time. Actually, it is the one situation where I really get stressed out. I am usually very easy going and can handle stressful situations. Tattoos, doctors, blood tests…. I’m in – no sweat. But somehow I was scarred when I was in elementary and high school, and it’s my least favourite thing ever. I hate it so much, in fact, that I hadn’t gone to the dentist since I had graduated high school in 2005. That’s right guys, more than 4 years of not going to get a checkup even.
So I got in there, and everything was great. The technician was the nicest lady ever, and I informed her of my anxiety. She was so accommodating, I really couldn’t have asked for more. Well, the only thing I could’ve really asked her was, ‘Can you stop fucking digging into my gums? Can’t you tell that there sensitive?!?!!‘ The dentist was really great too. The outcome of my visit? NOT SO FUCKING GOOD. I have, I shit you not, 8 cavities in my mouth. 8!!!!! How the eff does that happen? I mean, I brush very thoroughly 2-3 times a day and all that shit….. I almost cried when they told me that. And to make things worse, I have to book a consultation to have my wisdom teeth removed. And to make things way worse, the dentist has to replace one of my fillings, and it may or may not turn into a fucking ROOT CANAL. I can’t even handle this right now.
Just typing this out right now is making me cry. Not the fact that I have to spend all of this money to fix my teeth, because I know it will be worth it. But the fact that I have to endure at least 3 more visits within the next month. This is why I’ve avoided this for so long.