An Unpleasant Sense of Heaviness


I’ve always been known as the person in my group of friends that is the most easy going and relaxed. I am great about sticking with plans, am hardly ever late, have a lot of common sense when it comes to giving others advice, and am knowing for having a great sense of joy around me. However, lately I’ve been feeling myself slipping. Every thing that has been around me has made me completely irritated and frustrated.

I guess it started a month or two ago, as soon as it started getting colder out. I felt my inner homebody coming out, and began to shove people further away like they were the swine flu or something.Ā  I started spending way too much time on the computer, and not enough time doing anything else. I was taking my frustrations from work home with me, and could feel my temper getting worse and worse.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. One of my friends told me that I’m the most intolerant person they know. At first I denied it, and was mostly offended by the comment. Sure I can be sarcastic, but that doesn’t have to mean that I’m intolerant , right? The answer came to me the other day while having a great talk with one of my dearest friends, and it dawned on me that this is what I have been becoming. I was so blind to my negativity because it was taking over my friendships, and ultimately, my life.

After this realization, I started analyzing it a bit further. What is the root of this problem, and why can’t I shake this feeling? I started noticing that I haven’t been giving a lot of time to myself for myself. I stopped eating as healthily as I was. I stopped exercising almost completely. I haven’t even started Christmas presents. I’ve been really broke lately due to the time I took off when I had the flu, plus that other time when I was too hung over to look at my screen and had to go home after an hour of being there.

But, I have good news! I’ve decided not to feel like the Grinch anymore, and have been trying to think of small goals I can set for myself to make me generally happier. Obviously, whenever I get stressed out, lists are the best way to get my feet back on the ground.

-Buy some boots like these, or these. I have never owned nice leather boots, and am determined to get some before my feet become waterlogged for life from this Vancouver rain. I have absolutely no waterproof shoes, and am quite sure this is directly linked to my happiness.

-Get a yoga mat and find some free instruction videos online. Since I went to Pemberton to visit my family, I haven’t gone to yoga once. Just remembering the feeling I got after a good class made me feel so happy.

-Start getting up at the first alarm, rather than the fourth. If I got up at 6am rather than the usual 645am, I would have time for a morning yoga routine, a warm breakfast, tea at home rather than buying it at work, a half hour google reader session…. think of the possibilities!

-Making something for myself every time I make something for someone else. I feel that this one is important. I tend to get so motivated in making things for everyone else around Christmas, that I start getting jealous of all of the cool things I make for other people. I will have one of each thing I make from now on. So there.

-Try one new recipe a week, and start planning meals more regularly. No more Kraft Dinner when you’re too lazy to actually cook, Awmb! Anything is better than that!

Buy a SuperNintendo. I don’t have to justify this one.

I figure I should stop there, before I start reformatting my entire existence or getting obsessive compulsive or something. I will try to stick to my goals and that will be that. Today was the first day, and I can successfully say that I deflected everyone’s bad moods and most definitely turned them into ‘your mom’ jokes. I also woke up at 630am rather than 645am, and made a healthy dinner when I got home that included not one, but two veggie dishes!

What makes you happy in the winter? Do you have any tricks to stay grounded?


10 responses to “An Unpleasant Sense of Heaviness

  1. I always try and come up with things with the onset of winter. I love that you’re getting a Nintendo. We just got a Wii for Christmas (and it’s staying wrapped until then!) which I think will help lots.

    I want to do the recipe thing too – I wanted to cook something fancy regularly after seeing Julia and Julia – but I haven’t got round to it yet! I’d love to see what you come up with šŸ™‚

  2. It’s really hard to figure out these things about ourselves, but I’m glad that you have an inkling of what’s been making you less you & how to put more things you love into your life.

    And I can’t wait to be part of your real life in nine days =D

  3. I need to stay active to stay happy. and i am an introvert who thinks i can survive going a few days without seeing anyone or talking. but its a lie. i need people around. i need laughter. and even if i am feeling cranky, i NEED to make an effort to be nice to people because once i just work through the bitchyness i feel bubbling inside of me, once i tell myself to suck it up, i start to believe i am nice. it takes effort to be nice and to feel nice. uhg.
    im right now realizing how cut off i am from friends because of my own reclusive nature. its time to get active and be outgoing and nice again. its hard.

  4. question, could i have your address to send you something?

  5. So glad that you are making goals for yourself. I own an old school nintendo and absolutely love it.

  6. What makes you happy in the winter? Do you have any tricks to stay grounded?

    Vitamin D. It’s a quick and easy fix for these rainy overcast days we’re having. I know that as soon as I started feeling lagged down and wanting to sleep forever (causing bitchiness) I started taking my Vitamin D again. I take at least 2000 units/day and I tan also 1-2 times a week.

    This helps me, also an introvert. And I can continue to busy myself creatively because I have more energy to do so, and I’m happier to let those juices flow.

    For those who seem to can’t find the light during the Winter, it’s probably because you need some. Winter Depression is common.

    Hope that helps!

    Much Light, Love, and Laughter to you all


  7. Needed to leave another comment about this here (Every thing that has been around me has made me completely irritated and frustrated.)

    Usually when this happens you need to look at the underlying cause of “why”. “Why” are you feeling this way towards that situation and be brutally honest with yourself.

    Usually the unhappiness that you’re feeling about your surroundings are just a mirror to how you’re actually feeling about yourself. *hard to gulp right?*

    I just figured this out over the last couple of months myself. And when I started to pick out the things that irritated me about situations, and people, I saw that it was something within myself that I didn’t like and I was just being shown it. Too many times this year I’ve gotten the “mirror” effect. But it’s helped me grow and be this Miss Positive Polly that everyone comments on. Haha

    Anyway, I hope that my words can help a bit.

  8. I’m curious, how’s it going so far?
    I know that with me, I go with baby steps. Like really small. And one thing I’m learning is not to increase your goals if you surpass them one day. Give it a few weeks. If after a few weeks you are surpassing your goal everyday, THEN increase it. Otherwise you increase the goal prematurely and then can’t keep up and quit. Baby steps, baby šŸ™‚
    This also means only tackling one or two things at a time, otherwise, like you said, you end up trying to change your whole life at once and invariably fail.
    my two cents!

  9. Pingback: Update on Happiness « France, FTW!

  10. I recommend yoga 100%. A lot of places offer free or donation only classes, if you’re a beginner it’s really helpful to have an instructor to help you develop a practice of your own.

    As far as other methods of sanity, I prefer long walks, solo dance parties or random acts of mischief – like putting old photos in random books at the book store.

    Best of luck.

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